Jem's Diary entry

Today, I will be creating a diary entry on one of the main characters in To Kill A Mocking Bird ---- Jeremy Finch.

Mid-morning, Scout, Dill and I went to the courthouse to witness Tom Robinson's trial. Scout got separated from us and we didn't manage to get an empty seat in the courthouse as we were searching for her. Fortunately, Reverend Sykes gave us a place in the coloured balcony to witness the court proceedings. From the balcony, we got a good view of the entire court.

Firstly, the witnesses gave their accounts of the incident while Atticus and Mr Gilmer questioned them. The two lawyers than gave their respective speeches. Atticus was very calm as well as confident in his defense of Tom Robinson.

This was as far as I recollect besides the fact I told Scout to take Dill out of the courtroom. My mind was in a haze as I contemplated the court proceedings. I was devastated, confused beyond measure and hurt by the proceedings in the courtroom. I did not know what to think and my belief in idealism was forever shattered.

I was furious over the way Mr Gilmer cross- examined Tom Robinson, as if he was dirt. The fact that Mr Gilmer took every opportunity to trap Tom only further incensed me. I was confused over the reason that this court still took place, with not a shred of evidence that prove Tom Robinson guilty except the accounts of the Ewells, who were commonly known to be untrustworthy, cruel and violent people. This, coupled with my belief in fairness in the world, as well as Atticus' aura of confidence and sense of authority made me almost certain that Tom would be cleared of all charges.

However, when one by one, the jury announced "guilty", my heart sank like a stone to the bottom of the ocean. I could scarcely believe that they can find Tom guilty on such grounds. I felt numb, unaware of what was happening around me as the scene where Tom Robinson was pronounced guilty kept on flashing back at me. The outright discrimination against blacks was so outrageous that I wanted to vomit. The marginalization of blacks from society made me feel disgusted at the current judical system. I suddenly felt a blazing hatred towards the jury, each and every one of them for their unfairness and biasness towards Tom Robinson.

Luckily, Atticus was there to comfort and reassure me. He tried to explain to me that this was reality, in other words, life is never fair and that I should get to upset over it. He urge me to get over this and to continue to fight for what is right, despite the many obstacles laid out. After listening to him, I realized how foolish and childish was my youthful ideology that everyone is fair and just. I plan to put aside my naivety and face the real world at last.